The following reflection originally appeared in the newsletter I sent out on May 18th, 2021.
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One afternoon last week, I was laying down in the grass in my back yard, enjoying the 75-degree sunshine, feeling the light breeze, and listening along to the vibrant bird songs. Of course, it was a very pleasant time!
At some point, a person parked their car right next to my house and left the engine running. It was one of those engines that you could hear from a few blocks away (you know the ones!). The birds were still singing, but the engine was much louder.
After a few minutes, I noticed myself start to get a little agitated. I thought, “what’s up with the motor? Why don’t they turn their car off? Even further, why don’t they fix their engine?” A little more time passes, and I think, “What’s wrong with this person!?!?”
And then it struck it me: my happiness is not dependent on what happens but how I relate to what happens. If anything should agitate me, it’s not because it’s actually annoying, but because of my reaction.
When I reflect a little more, I don’t want to be agitated; I want to be at peace. So why am I choosing an agitated response?
I then thought about all the different mindfulness tricks I know, and began focusing on the whole field of hearing, not letting my attention zero in on the engine (ever notice how attention laser focuses on the thing it likes least?). Suddenly, at the snap of the fingers, the birds were there along with the motor, my moods, the feel of the sun, the gentle breeze, the tickle of the grass, and everything else. It all co-existed harmoniously.
However, I still noticed my mood was a little agitated, so I asked myself, “is that motor really, truly annoying?”
As a laid there in still presence, I reflected, “no it’s not actually annoying. It’s just a sound. It gets louder and quiet, has a tone and vibration. It’s just a sound among many sounds — not good not bad.”
From there, all agitation dropped away and I don’t even really remember how much longer the engine went on for, because it stopped being important to me. My mood became peaceful and the experience was pleasant again.
In all of our lives, there’s a temptation to see “THAT” as annoying, as a cause for agitation. Maybe THAT is how someone speaks to you, a nagging injury, the demands of your job, loud horns, barking dogs, bland food, your overactive mind, or your housemate’s messes. However, while taking action may sometimes be appropriate, what meditation teaches us is that “THAT” is not actually annoying. It’s just one happening among many happenings — not good not bad.
Peace depends less on what happens and more on how you respond to “THAT,” which at the core, is up to you.
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